Friday, 1 August 2008

the interminable delays

I am currently stuck in Chicago airport waiting for my connection to Toronto. It is humid and hot, it is slightly chaotic here, although most of the officials and airport staff have been friendly so far. I find it strange to think that this morning I left London and now sometime in the middle of the morning London time, I am on the other side of the Atlantic in a country with a culture that is so different from the UK. From one English-speaking nation to another, I find myself having to make some rapid changes to my psyche to fit into the crowd. For instance, saying "sir" to everyone, and tipping at the bar. In the heat, I got a bottle of water and was charged 2 dollars. Despite the price, I gave the man 3 dollars, and then waved away the change as a tip. I have been told that I need to tip a dollar per drink, and I don't know whether I have been had. The bartender seemed appreciate though. Well, I would be too with a dollar tip just for getting out a bottle of water.

I am hoping that things will get better after July gave me two fingers up. There was a small incident with a fly infestation in my flat. After recovering from a mild bout of flu, I found myself spraying insect killer until I lost my sense of smell, vacuumed up flies that had dropped dead all over flat floor, mopped until my floorboards bled, and thought that the buzzing from my fridge was one enormous mother-ship fly coming to get me after wiping out the entire population of flies in my flat. At one point (i.e. the point of nervous breakdown), I had thoughts of just lighting a match of where I had sprayed insect spray and just letting it rip. Common sense prevailed after spending a nice afternoon out of the flat drinking coffee somewhere in a nice cafe in the West End.

To add to my woes was my continuing wait for my initial visa to come through. Having heard that the process was going to take 14 weeks for the first part, I was getting anxious that I would be home in Melbourne and nothing would have been approved. I still think that's going to be the case, but I guess I can't do much about it except curse the slowness of the Home Office. My misery was also compounded by my complete apathy in getting things done. Lists were made and the flesh was willing, but the spirit was weak as I sat there stewing in my humid flat.

However, there were some good days. One sunny afternoon I had finally persuaded Rob to join me for a drink at a Walkie (the Walkabout Pub which is a pub for Australians). Travelling down to Putney, I was again amazed at how nice some parts of London are. With the Thames as a backdrop, it was Woolwich without the grime and the attitude. Except it seemed that I had moved into New South Wales. Our first pint went down a treat, and we knew things would only get worse when we started on the 2-for-1 Snakebites (some concocted English drink for Australians consisting of beer, cider and something purple coloured). The Snakebites were surprisingly good, and we ended up staying for a couple more pints and a very cheap meal deal. It was a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon, although we did wonder whether we were enjoying the guitar-playing singer too much, whose repertoire consisted of mainly vanilla anthems heard in every pub from Putney to maybe Putney.

Drinking clearly was my salvation another night when I met up Roxy for a few very expensive cocktails in London's West End. Rox was attending someone else's birthday drinks, and I was merely a gatecrasher to a meeting of the entire Asian Monash-or-Melbourne-University-student Melbourne community. While it was oddly reassuring to be surrounded with people that looked and spoke like me, they were all disbelieving when I told the group that I was "full Honky" when we went off for a very late supper in Chinatown. I believe the words "you can't be full Chinese because you have a hairy chest" were used. Yes indeed, because I am man. Hear me exfoliate.

After supper, I went back to Trafalgar Square to get the night bus home. After waiting an hour I was getting very fidgety and anxious that I would never get home. Some people around me started to complain about the mystery number 53 bus to Woolwich, and I told them that I had been waiting for an hour. Eventually a group of us decided to get a minicab to Woolwich - I was lucky - and saved. It was amusing in the cab, 2 French bartenders, 2 Romanian dentists, me and a rather cold New Zealand girl in a dress which was probably meant to be an ocean motif, but looked like something that had gone mouldy and had started to spore. Two hours later I eventually made it home, and I was thankful that I had only spent 10 pounds for a shared minicab rather than 60 pounds for a black cab.

Let me pause here for one moment to announce that my flight is delayed for 3 hours. Despite having changed to arrive in Chicago earlier from London so that I would have no problem getting my connecting flight, I will be enjoying the ambience of O'Hare airport for a good 6 hours. I hope my sarcasm is dropping. My dad, aunt, uncle and Rob laughed at me when they found out I was flying American Airlines. Ha ha. Hilarious.

In my last few days in London, I decided to do some London touristy sightseeing with Rob. Rob is leaving London in September, leaving me without a comedy-night wingman where we would laugh at the same jokes about a bear going "rawr" and a song going "Valerie Valerie". Clearly an inside joke. We have been to some good comedy nights though - our tried and tested formula for a good night out. A couple of pints to loosen the heckling vocal chords, and then off we would go. This last outing however, was my own idea in dragging Rob out to see a Frank Gehry architectural installation. The Serpentine Gallery in Kensington Gardens has a temporary installation each year, and this year Frank Gehry had designed a large wooden structure reminiscent of Leonardo da Vinci's drawings for an enormous catapult. Unfortunately I was a little bit disappointed with the structure after reading a glowing review in the papers, but nevertheless I was pleased to see another Frank Gehry building. By chance, I noticed that the Princess Diana fountain was close by, so we went to have a quick look to see what the fuss was about. While undoubtedly tasteful and lovely, I would find it hard to justify taking time out of my tourist schedule to actually come out and look at the fountain. It was nice however that the water was clean, and kids were dipping their toes into the currents of water.

Walking back through Kensington Park, we reminisced about our family outings to Gumbaya Park and Wobbie's World. Our experiences at these places were eerily similar - our complaints that Gumbaya Park wasn't Dreamworld in Queensland, our dads complained about the fact that the rides were an additional cost on top of the admission fee, and were were given cans of Coke to share with our siblings after begging for fizzy sugary drinks.

We decided to go for a pub lunch and took the first bus we saw away from Kensington Gardens. I usually don't take random buses in London but it the spirit of being intrepid, we ended up taking a bus to Victoria - literally down the road. We had a nice pub lunch with rather incompetent bar staff, and I bade my farewell to Rob. I spent the next day packing, and here I am. Sitting in a very quiet Chicago airport, bored, but at least with my laptop and something to do. Given that we were already delayed in London for an hour due to congestion at Heathrow, I'm rather nervous as I've got a long way to go. Two airlines down, 3 more airlines to go. Perhaps once August clicks in all will be fine.

It's time to fly. Exclamation mark.

Monday, 30 June 2008

the headache to Leeds

I'm currently growing a lovely headache by being a true Chinese and using the free Wi-fi on the train from London to Leeds. I've taken my laptop with me, and it just seems a shame (or more likely a waste and an affront to my Asian senses) not to capitalise on the freebie so I can send emails and download tracks. I suppose however that any cost benefit on this trip will be neutralised in the outrageous cost of the ticket and the panadol tablets that I will need to consume later.

I finished with the NHS Counter Fraud Service last week. I was a little sad as I felt that I had started to make inroads - of getting to know people and of starting to get good at my job. My final task was to release the report I had been working on for the past 5 months - it will be launched as a national document for best practice, and I'm pretty proud of the work that I've done. The task before that was slightly less happy - I did my final assessment of a hospital's counter fraud arrangements, and awarded a provisional fail mark.

Happy days indeed.

I'm sure many of you are aware that I've booked my round-the-world ticket from London to North America and Australia. I'll be seeing my sister who has just moved to Toronto, and then will be spending a couple of days in the Bay Area of San Francisco. I'm a bit of an old hand now at the Caltrain - it's a great journey down the Silicon Valley heading past famous places such as Menlo Park where Thomas Edison lived. From there I'll fly out from San Jose to Denver where I'll be heading to a family reunion. From there we'll be driving through Utah and then heading back to LA for my flight home back to Australia.

I would hereby like to announce that my headache is in a holding pattern and heasn't decided whether to emerge or not... And that the man sitting opposite me (despite me requesting a non-table seat) is chewing gum in a most annoying fashion.

I can't concentrate any more, except to say that a party that David held a couple of weeks ago, I managed to make an entire room of PhD physicists and PhD art historians laugh, spilt red wine on my only nice polo top, and drunkenly agreed to read a book about art so that I would feel superior to everyone in the galleries I visited with my knowledge on art. Though, I must say that I am currently a bit bored of seeing countless depictions of the last supper, the resurrection of Christ and the birth of Christ.

If anyone can show me a good collection of finger paintings, then I am sold.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

the first year of something good

I made it.

One year ago today, I arrived in London with my bags and a piece of paper with an address. All I remember are the anxieties about being in a new city being completely alone, having to rely solely on my wits and my powers of being completely anal and anal retentive at the same time.

This time one year ago I was walking back to my first flatmate's home in the Isle of Dogs near Crossharbour, jet-lagged out of my mind, wanting sleep, worrying about finding a job and a new apartment.

I'll be the first to admit that it was one of the most stressful things I've ever done in my life, but here I am, sitting in my flat in Woolwich looking at the sunset setting over the Thames. I've cooked and eaten dinner (stir-fried chicken on a bed of salad - yes - the rabbit eats) and I'm feeling relaxed yet rather tired. My sinuses are rather clogged up, and I'm debating whether I have a cold or just a severe bout of hayfever. The Erica Yurken from "Hating Alison Ashley" lives on inside me.

So what have I achieved? Allowing myself to be wildly self-indulgent, it's been a year of some good trips - Barcelona with Di and Matt, trips with Frances through Salzburg and England, Cardiff with Vicki, Paris with my dad and sister, Budapest with Alex and Dave, and of course, branching out on my two little feet with trips to Dublin and Madrid. Vicki, Nick and Viviane, thanks for stopping by on my brown faux-suede couch.

Most of all, I'm proud that I've managed to resurrect a good career post-Telstra. Within a year, I've done a 360 on my career, moving from the cushy private sector into being a full blown civil servant. The civil service of course has its one perk, I tend to get questioned less by the UK BORDER authorities when I tell them I work for the Ministry of Justice or the NHS Counter Fraud Service. I've managed to work my way up from being a lowly researcher to a position where I now make decisions that impact on the healthcare that is provided in England and Wales. Having said that, I have had some fun at Justice visiting prisons and the like, investigating cases of misconduct and impropriety at the Health Professions Council and assessing whether a hospital's counter fraud arrangements are passing or failing Secretary of State directions. It's all part of the service.

Of course, my blog notes often present a rosy picture. There are the days when I miss being home, being in Melbourne with my friends and my family. It's bloody hard work trying to break into new friendship groups, having to take contract work with the constant stress of not wanting to be sick lest I miss a day of paid work, missing the last train home at midnight and having to take the horrendous night bus home, paying exorbitant rent and travel costs and the rather shitty food.

But miseries aside, it's been a good year. I have, after all, managed to find myself a flat with a proper shower.

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

the lucky dip

I am feeling slightly old and weary today after turning 27 years old yesterday. My birthday passed without fanfare or fuss – it was a normal day at work for me, although I did treat myself to a nicer lunch than I would ordinarily buy, and for dinner I allowed myself to guzzle larger quantities of icecream and Chardonnay than I would ordinarily allow myself. It was also, the first time in my flat where I didn’t wash the dishes after cooking dinner, leaving them piled high in the sink, looking forlorn and unloved. It was also the first time that I had had a birthday in which I celebrated by myself, although it was no big deal. Frances did cook me a roast chicken over the weekend for my birthday dinner, and bought me a small plant for the flat which was very cute. And I managed to speak to my family and friends over the phone last night, and received all your lovely emails.

In the lead up to my birthday, I took some time off to go to Madrid for some time off and to sort out my visa to stay in the UK. Arriving in Madrid I was slightly nervous – I was ultra paranoid from reading about pickpockets and bag snatchers and bag slashers, and I was a little bit rusty on solo travel. But travelling into the centre of Madrid on the speedy metro, I felt this amazing rush of excitement. I usually only get this feeling when I first arrive in a new city – a whole city to be explored with its possibilities open to me, and it never fails to remind me why I pick myself from my bed and hurl myself into the unknown.

That first afternoon, I decided to take the hostel tour to meet new people and to gain my footing in a new city. It was nice being lazy for a couple of hours to have someone show us around, without the need for me to be the unwitting participant in Madrid’s “spot the incompetent tourist” charade. In between my bewilderment wondering whether Spaniards ever did any work through their hours-long siestas, I appreciated the gravitas of history that surely gave the Madrilenos their confidence. From the influences of the Moorish people, the Austrians and then the Muslims, Jews and Christians, you knew that the weight of these influences was enough to give the city its much deserved gravitas. While not having much of Barcelona’s gaudy excesses (pun intended), I came to see Madrid as a bastion of neo-classical architecture and preservation on another tour of Madrid outdoor art and architecture.

That night I had dinner with 2 people from the tour – a South Korean girl and a Brazilian guy who had never seen snow in his life. Both were very nice and sweet, although I clearly needed practice in speaking pidgin English. Out went my syntax and any form of eloquent expression until I returned to my hostel room to meet my new roommates. Shawn, an Aussie from Canberra was affable and we had a good chat. Shawn warned me that the South Korean guy in our room was “up for a chat” but didn’t elaborate, until it dawned upon me that a conversation of any complexity was going to involve elaborate hand signals and
v-e-r-y s-l-o-w s-p-e-a-k-i-n-g. It was all good natured of course, and both guys raved about how good Seville was.

The next morning, I went with Shaun to the train station to purchase our tickets – Shaun was off to Cordoba and I was going to take a day-trip to Toledo the next day. We waited for an hour to get my tickets, and was accosted by a little old lady shouting at me to donate money to her cause. A few people started to laugh and I had to pretend to laugh at myself, but inwardly seethed listening to a Spanish rant about elderly women or whatever the cause was. Having got our tickets, Shawn and I decided to head to the Sofia modern art museum. Along the way, I got both of us horribly lost, only to be saved by a very bizarre American man who gave us booklets on the Bible and thanked us Australians for saving American in the World Wars.

The modern art gallery was primarily famous for Picasso’s “Guernica” cubism painting. I myself wasn’t sure to look out for, but it was nice to walk around the gallery to talk about the collection to a guy who was neither here nor there about art. We passed a painting where people crowded around and appreciated it for a while, and then kept going. I realised that while I liked flying solo at art galleries, there was something very cathartic in being able to share your opinion on a particular piece. While our eloquence extended sometimes no more than “that’s shit”, or “that’s crap”, or “how bizarre”, I had a lot of fun. We ended up liking different works, and then found the “Guernica” – the painting which we had admired before, but not realised that it was in fact, the famous piece. We stood there for a while to get our money’s worth and wandered around looking at some other famous painters like Salvador Dali.

I bade farewell to Shawn and went back to the hostel for a rest. I met a new roommate, “Jeff from Salt Lake City, Utah” and unfortunately, he misheard my name and called me “Tiff” for the rest of the week. Jeff turned out to be a college jock Mormon who was quite possibly one of the most coolest and nicest ultra-religious people I have ever met. He liked sports, girls and God and we had a great chat. I was going to have an early night to get up for Toledo the next day, so Jeff leant me his PSP to watch movies while he went out. I couldn’t believe how trusting he was, and told him that he was lucky I was an honest bloke. I don’t know what it is, but he is the second person in a month to say that I had a “trustworthy face”. I’m sure I would have been damned to hell and whatever Prophet the Mormons believed in had I run away with his PSP.

I then lucked out with roommates. Three very large American guys came in with enormous suitcases. They took forever in getting ready to go out, and then left me in peace to go to sleep. That night, I counted 5 reasons, why I would never ever stay in a hostel again.

1. Jeff and friends came back at 2am. Jeff, being a Mormon, didn’t drink, but his friend clearly had. It was very funny though – Jeff came in quietly, but his friend walked into the side of the door. Amidst the wailing, Jeff was shushing away his friend, telling him that I had woken up his roommate. His friend came up to me and drunkenly said “I’m so sorry Tiff”, and then walked into the door again. Mayhem ensued.
2. At 3am, one large American came back in. Belch and scratch noises pierced the silence.
3. At 3.30, another large American came back in. More belching and scratching. A shower was started.
4. At 4am, other American came in and fell over the pile of their suitcases in middle of room.
5. At 4.30, Jeff returns to room sans drunk (but very funny) friend. Says hello again and asks me what time I’m getting up. Apparently in 3 hours. Asks me to get him up at same time.

The next day, a very grumpy Taffy went off to Toledo. The new high-speed Renfe trains were great. Fast, comfortable and clean, I was deposited into Toledo in 30 minutes. I took the bus into the centre to get a map, but discovered the tourist centre was closed until 11am. I grumbled to myself something about working hours only being between 11am and 1pm.

Toledo, however, is quite a pretty city. For centuries, Jews, Muslims and Christians managed to live together in harmony without their religious faith colliding. They built spectacular cathedrals, temples and synagogues and a thriving community. While I paid to go into the cathedral and synagogue, it was nice to stroll around the rather hilly town, until it started to rain. At one point I got too miserable and wet, and ducked into a restaurant for lunch where they charged me like red flag to a wounded bull for everything. By then I had had enough, and caught an early bus to the train station for the ride home.

That afternoon, I decided to head over the Prado Museum for some classical art. I suppose as well I should admit that I was bored, and that entry was free. The Prado is apparently one of the largest galleries in Europe, and it was surprisingly good. Large spacious galleries held the crowds at bay, and it was possible to enjoy the galleries without jostling for position. After I had had enough of renaissance art, I headed back to the hostel and the little deli close-by for dinner, ordering an enormous slice of Tiramisu for dessert. Jeff was back in the room, and we had a good chat again. I had some many questions about the Mormons, and it turns out that he was sent to Lima for two years to teach. The good thing was that he didn’t ram down his teachings down my throat, and while I disagreed on a couple of things with him, he wasn’t annoyed when I was surprised that he had never drunk alcohol in his life before. Clearly a man of many talents (God-divined perhaps?), he played lacrosse and wrestled at college and also was learning ballroom dancing and Spanish, in addition to teaching for his Church. While I’m not sure of the whole Mormon thing, this was a guy who you would love to hate.

My last day in Madrid was my slow “I could not be bothered and I am on holiday” day, despite my wish to find chocolate con churros (which I never did find). I wandered the main shopping drag of Gran Via, and strolled around the hip Chueca district before going back to visit the Palace and cathedral. The Palace and Cathedral were built very close to each other to symbolise the close relationship between Church and State, although once inside the Palace, I wondered whether any divine inspiration from the interior design. The interior of the Palace, was frankly, hideous. Excessively opulent, dark and over-the-top, I went through the rooms and sometimes just stood there to gape. One memorable room was made entirely of porcelain – apparently very fine and expensive porcelain, but I could helpn’t wonder whether this porcelain encrusted “Reading Room” was more like one big lavatory where you sat on the throne to read while attending to your business. The highlight was to see a collection of Stradivarius string instruments and priceless Chinese Ming vases, presumably gifts, but probably pinched. The Cathedral on the other hand, was stunning inside. I would have to call it as one of the more beautiful cathedrals that I have seen, although the Cathedral exterior facing the Palace was very demure – so as to not offend the Royals.

Back at the hostel, luck in roommates turned my way. I met Tom from Seattle, aged 29. I asked Tom whether he felt old being 29, but his style of travel was similar to mine – take shorter breaks so as not to get too tired of hostels, and only stay in hostels for the sole reason of meeting new people. A little while later after we decided to grab a drink, Chris from Canada who was British but had just moved to Madrid that day entered stage right. We decided to go out on the town that night, and I waited for Tom to clean up the water fountain he created in the bathroom, and then waited for Chris to preen himself for a night out. Both were good guys, and were keen to together a bunch of people. We were rebuffed by everyone sitting at the PCs staring intently at the internet, although another rather loud Aussie called Kat came with us for a drink.

First stop was KFC (God forbid) but following a wander around Puerta del Sol, we managed to find ourselves with a pint. It was nice to chat, and it turns out that the 4 of us had moved quite long distances away from home. Chris and I talked about the deterioration of the UK, and wondered why the Europeans managed to encourage culture, while the UK managed to promote welfare and a gang culture. We shook our heads sadly.

But of course the party continued on. We trooped aimlessly for a while and ended up in the gay part of the town. The boys wanted to go somewhere else, so we walked back along Gran Via, checking out the architecture lit up at night, Chris telling buskers in Spanish to piss off, and laughing and carrying on until we walked back to the hostel at 3am. As I got into the dorm, Jeff woke up and we all had a chat, except for our 5th roommate who hid under his hoodie and then went for a smoke in the bathroom. We were not impressed, so we kept on talking until the early hours of the morning.

It was then that I realised that this was the exact reason why I stay in hostels. To meet weird and wonderful people – people of different religions, people who like talking the language of American politics, people who find nourishment in travel and art and a beer and chat at the end of a long day.

I bade a sad farewell to my roommate amigos early that morning, bringing to mind a conversation I had with Shawn. Shawn had proposed a question whether it was the hostel that made the trip, or the city that made a trip. While a city can be fascinating and exciting, we both came to the conclusion that our travels were enlivened meeting good people at hostels and exploring the city with new mates. Holding that though, I went to breakfast and stirred up the very angry lady in the kitchen who was banging around breakfast plates and cups with a cheery “hola!”. She grimaced at me, and kept on wanting to break plates without daring to break plates in case she got fired. And then I was off to the Airport for the journey home to London where all I could do was collapse in a heap to listen to Frances’ travels to Egypt and gorge on roast chicken.

Bueno.

Sunday, 18 May 2008

the travel to the east

I had a most pleasant evening last weekend. Dad was in town for work, and I managed to spend some quality time with him. The highlight of the evening was having a nice dinner with David and Dad, following which we moseyed our way to a performance of The Lion King.

I highly recommend The Lion King - it was a lot of fun. An incredible set, creative use of the stage and some rather nice moments, including the moment when the animals came down the aisles of the stalls. It's been a while since I saw the Lion King at the movies - but bits and pieces of it came back to me during the performance. There was the baboon character who was played by the most amazing singer - she absolutely brought the house down. Even dad was impressed.

Though, I was even more impressed with the past weekend's sunshine - having lived through the longest winter of my life, I appreciate now why Londoners seem to strip everything off in public places such as parks the moment it hits 25 degrees. In fact, one day when it got to about 27 degrees, I was wilting away in my flat. The flat was only 22 degrees inside, but inside we had the fans going, all the windows open and I was still moaning away. Clearly my heat tolerance has taken some adjusting.

A couple of weekends ago I also took the chance to head to Windsor Castle and Eton with Frances. Windsor Castle was a grand old building, although I'm not sure the 45 minute wait in line to get in made it worth it. I suppose it was something that I needed to do while in London - a visit to see where Lizzie lives. I don't think Lizzie in was that day, but we had a gawk at St George's chapel (where we saw where the Queen Mother was buried), someone's Doll Museum (bizarre), and some of the State Rooms. There was excess everywhere - from the swords to the bayonets covering the walls, to the opulence of royalty. Bring on the republic. Though maybe not Napolean.

We also took a stroll around Eton where I must say it was interesting to see where numerous British Prime Ministers were schooled. The courtyard was nothing short of horrendous - jagged rocks, grey concrete and weeds growing in the cracked concrete. I suppose it drags down one spirit so that the little rich kids can concentrate on becoming Britain's future elite.

Speaking of disparity. Heading eastwards from Windsor, our train stopped at several stations including Putney and Clapham - where rudely speaking, all the bogan Australians live in their ghetto. Frances and I noticed that in the "nice" West side of London, the trains were mostly full of caucasian people. Changing at Waterloo back to head to the south east, we found our train entirely full of Asians (i.e Indians) and Africans and assorted other ethnic groups and I felt right at home heading back east in the melting pot of faces. I've always wanted to move somewhere "nicer" in London (i.e. the West), but I wonder if the east holds the key to one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world?

At this point in time, I suppose here is as good a place to tell everyone that I've decided to stay in London for just a little bit longer. At the start of June, I'll hit 1 year in London, and simply can't imagine packing up my life here to head back to Melbourne. As much as I miss home and my friends and family back in Melbourne, there's still a lot that I want to do in the UK. I've had a couple of sleepless nights thinking my long-term plans, but as I've gone about preparing my Highly Skilled Migrant Visa application, I know that this is the right decision for now.

Unfortunately, there's been a bit of stress with the new Home Office rule changes for my visa, and I'll need to head home for a little bit while the application goes through the British High Commission in Canberra. I'm looking forward to recharging the batteries, seeing you all again, and spending some time in my own bed.

Thursday, 1 May 2008

the candidates

Today I had the privilege of fulfilling one of my duties as a Londoner (apart from complaining, paying taxes and lining up in a queue).

I have cast my vote in the London city elections for the London Assembly and the Mayor of London. The 3 main mayoral candidates (glibly speaking) are:
1. an experienced socialist mayor who is looking for to add to his 8 year term for a 12 year term (Labour)
2. a privileged former right-wing journalist clown who has never run anything in his life (Conservatives)
3. a respectable but gay (gasp!) tree-hugging, lily-livered pinko former senior police commissioner (Liberal Democrats).

There are of course the usual assortment of greens, racists and complete psychos, but hey, in a city the size of London you need to take the good with the bad.

I cast my vote at the polling station near my apartment, and I'll be eagerly waiting for the results and the analysis. For those of you who know me well, you'll know I aint joking about looking forward to reading election analysis.

I just think it's nice that Commonwealth citizens who are resident in London are allowed to vote in local elections. Make no mistake about how important these elections are - with the Mayor commanding an 11 billion pound sterling budget overseeing transport and the police, it's important that we have our say. Having said that, I also cast my vote for my local council too in Greenwich and Lewisham, though my care factor is not particularly high on that count. Well, if the freaks win, it'll be a different story altogether.

Has been an exhausting and stressful week trying to sort out my life here in London. Issues of my flat (trying to get the lease extended), trying to change credit cards with intransigent Australian banks needing me to call them at midnight, trying to sort out visa issues and trying to keep on top of work.

I musn't complain about work. For the first time in my life I asked for a pay rise and got it! I was really pleased as it will take some of the pressure off me. However, there were major caveats added - I have doubled my responsibilites. Part of my new and improved role is assessing counter fraud arrangements across 400 health organisations across England and Wales. Given the small size of our team, I have been allocated to assess 100 organisations. With each organisation declaring about 50 pages worth of documents as evidence, this is going to be bigger than Super Tuesday.

I am enjoying it though - I am learning a lot about fraud and audit functions which is interesting, and I'll be sad when my contract us up. I did however get to go to Leeds today which was bloody tiring - 3 hours up, a 2 hour meeting and then 3 hours back to London. I am about to drop dead.

On a fun note, I went to see "The Mousetrap" last Saturday with Frances. Being at a loose end, I decided that Saturday night was going to be a night of culture, and given that The Mousetrap (an Agatha Christie play) has been running non-stop for 55 years, I thought it would be worth going to. I must say I enjoyed myself - there is a great twist at the end, and the actors implored us to keep it a secret. I wonder if I would get sued if I told you the twist here...

What the hell. One of the mayoral candidates will probably sue me for the above descriptions anyway.

Sunday, 20 April 2008

the language barrier

I achieved a first last night which I thought would never happen. Not that I ever had intended it to happen, but it is something literally to write home about. My parents would be pleased.

I went out for a few drinks and a bite to eat with Rob last night. Rob was chomping at the bit to get some Chinese food in him, and I was happy to oblige. Wandering through Chinatown we were amazed that people would queue up to get into restaurants. I mean, it's Chinatown! There are so many eateries to choose from down that one strip - same same, but different. The one with the flashing neon pig outside it's window (now changed to a mouse) I do however, avoid.

Flicking through the menu I was a confident boy. I was going to order in Chinese to see if I could get away with doing an a la carte order - usually I cheat and order just for one, but doing a "normal" Chinese order is another thing altogether. I called over the waiter and proceeded to order in Cantonese. He looked at me in bewilderment. And then ran off.

I sat there, with my mouth opening and shutting like an ornamental carp. And then got rescued by another waitress who asked me sweetly in Chinese what I wanted to order.

The banana (white on the inside, yellow on the outside) had succeeded for the first time in his life, to actually necessitate a change in waiter so he could order in Chinese! By then I was feeling pretty smug, but then she threw in a curly one. The Sichuan beef I had ordered is a sweet spicy sauce - not the fiery one she thought I had wanted. I said in my best Cantonese "that's fine" and off we went. And rice for one? No, for two thank you.

Taffy scores!

Now that I've mastered the "noodles, roast duck, beef and rice" in Cantonese it's on to bigger challenges.

Let's see if those Mandarin lessons paid off after all Mum!